You’ve signed the papers. The dust has settled. Now what? If you’re like me, you’re probably staring at your reflection in the mirror, asking, “What the hell do I do now?” Spoiler alert: You figure it out—one step, one choice, one awkward first dance at a singles’ party at a time.

Divorce isn’t just the end of a marriage; it’s the beginning of a new chapter. And trust me, while it might feel like you’re stumbling in the dark, there’s light ahead. Here’s what worked for me, and it might just work for you too.

1. Step One: Get Off the Couch

No, really. Put down the ice cream (or the whiskey). I get it—your heart feels like it’s been through a blender. But the first thing you need to do is move. Walk around the block. Hit the gym. Heck, take up kickboxing and pretend the punching bag is your ex’s lawyer. The endorphins will remind you that you’re alive—and that’s a good place to start.

2. Who Were You Before the “We”?

Remember that version of you who had dreams, hobbies, and goals before “we” turned into “me”? Yeah, that person’s still in there. Go find them. Start painting again. Take that solo trip to Italy you’ve always wanted. Or maybe just binge-watch a show without anyone rolling their eyes. It’s your time now.

3. Find Your People

Here’s a pro tip: not everyone will “get it.” Some friends will ghost you because they “don’t want to take sides.” (Hint: they already did.) That’s okay. The ones who stick around? Those are your people. Lean on them. Cry on their shoulders. Laugh about the absurdity of trying to date again at 40.

Oh, and don’t underestimate the power of support groups. Sometimes, strangers with their own divorce scars turn out to be the best listeners.

4. Money Stuff: Take the Reins

Divorce can wreak havoc on your finances. Sit down with a spreadsheet—or, if that makes you want to cry, sit down with someone who loves spreadsheets. Build a budget. Start fresh. And for the love of all things holy, don’t blow your savings on a midlife crisis sports car. (Unless it’s a really good deal—then maybe.)

5. Love? Maybe. YOU? Definitely.

Let’s get real: jumping back into dating isn’t mandatory. (And dating apps? Buckle up.) Focus on loving yourself first. Rediscover what makes you happy. And when you’re ready, you’ll know. Just remember: you’ve survived worse than an awkward first date.

Bonus Tip: Read Divorced Virgin

If you’re looking for someone who’s been there, done that, and lived to tell the tale with a bit of humour, grab a copy of my book. It’s raw, it’s real, and it might make you laugh when you need it most.

Check out Divorced Virgin here.

Your Turn

What’s the craziest thing you’ve done to reclaim your life after divorce? Leave a comment below—I’m all ears (and probably taking notes).